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28 August 2012 @ 08:57 pm
Try to bury a hatchet - it ends up buried in your own skull  
Utterly pissed off,  asI  am currently "disabled" (excluded) from Facebook and do not know the reason why.  I suspect  the active malice (or fear) of others. God, that sounds paranoid. But the timing is right: I PM'd a couple of people on FB, with whom I had a bad falling out in my last year at UEA Norwich, and said "let's end this. I'm sorry. Can we talk?"  Two days later, I am "disabled" (read: excluded) from Facebook for violating the terms and conditions. If what I suspect is right - how unbelievably petty.  It's because we fell out 24 years ago and I haven't directly spoken to the lady in the 24 years since.  It's because in those 24 years I have seen my former male friend once, then from a distance, in the upper floor of Waterstones' bookshop in Manchester, and to my shame i bottled out of going over to him to say "hello".

It's because I had a potentially fatal car accident on Sunday night. I do not want to over-dramatise this, but if a good driver had not stopped the car in time, if there had been more traffic on an otherwise busy road, I might not be hear now to type this.

It's because I turned fifty yesterday.

this sort of thing focuses the mind wonderfully and makes you aware of your own mortality.

Life is too short and eternity too long.  I do not want to leave the world with arguments and bad feeling as the last memory of two people who used to be friends.  As I said to both of them, even if we never speak again, can I at least offer sincere apologies for 1987-88, and we can part and just remember the good times?  And if you want, I'm offering  the option to be Facvebook "friends", I'll understand if you decline.

To me, that is not bullying or harrasment. i am not guilty of mis-using Facebook. Yet it's possible that's why I've been barred.

I also csigned up in a special-interest group and joined in a few conversations.  My fault for leaping in without looking. but guess who a previously existing member of that group is.. yes, my ex GF who for the moment I shall call Maerwyn from Aberbargoed. (she knows who she is).  Using her full name - she never married - would just give her extra reasons to accuse me of harrassment, and I do not want that.   She knows me by my Clark Kent identity, anyway, and not as agprov....

but just upset, if they've stooped this low....

As I say, sad. Petty.

Current Location: United Kingdom, Manchester
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: Bob Dylan, Idiot Wind